Trust Me On This One...

Trust is what I've been "working with" (would be the more positive, self-help-y way to describe it; "struggling with" would be more accurate and descriptive, and "struggling against" would capture what it really feels like even more) lately. And more specifically still, trusting myself. Which, at first blush, it would seem like trusting myself would come a lot easier than trusting others. After all, I can't see into anyone else's minds and know if they are telling the truth, or if they have some sort of ulterior motive, or are flat-out lying, whereas I can see into my own mind. Sort of.

Only. I have been known to um, lie to myself. Or give myself advice that is not always well, good. I sometimes enter into a state of denial. I have even been known, once in a while, to have ulterior motives with myself. And from time-to-time, I flat-out self-sabotage.

When I have to make a decision, big or small, one method I sometimes employ is this: I roll it around in my head, which offers many, often divergent, viewpoints. Then I add more opinions in the form of advice from others and maybe a book or two, and on top of that, throw in the perceived expectations of friends, family, and co-workers, fold in societal expectations at large, and then mull that whole brew over as well. And by the time this process really gets going, I barely know right from left, and second and third and seventeenth guess myself and my every thought on the matter at hand until I land someplace very far away from my confident inner knowing and peaceful personal truth, which I know is in there somewhere, as I think I remember passing it along the way to my detour to complete inner chaos.

So. With so many voices - inner and outer - trying to pipe in and state their cases on every decision, how do you know which one is the real you, your true voice trying to whisper the answer to you amidst this din of despair?

I recently read the best way I have ever come across (and I have been looking for a long time!) to distinguish your truest most true inner voice from all that competing noise. In Michael Neill's book "You Can Have What You Want," (p. 81) he writes:

"If you're ever not sure whether you're hearing the voice of inspiration or "that voice inside your head," use this simple guideline: The still, small voice within doesn't think you suck." (for more info, go to http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/)

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One way to cultivate and nurture trust in yourself is this: Don't get mad at/hate yourself (wherever you may fall on any given day on this continuum) for everything you haven't been able "get" or "get right." Instead, try loving and accepting yourself for all you have be able to, and while you're at it, for all you haven't, too. There is a reason certain things, areas of your life, people, relationships, recurring issues and themes etc. have been difficult for you, and kindness, compassion, and acceptance (as opposed to anger, hate, and resistance), are the only ways you'll ever be able to understand what that reason is, how it has benefited you in the past, and why it is ok to let it go now.

So listen to that non-sucky voice within and it will tell you exactly what you need to hear. It will always tell you the truth.

Trust me on this one. Or more importantly: Trust Yourself.